Friday, February 26, 2016

Tuff Turf

Plot Synopsis: A new kid at school must battle a vicious gang when he falls for the leaders girlfriend

 Forget that Sixteen Candles, and Weird Science crap, this is where its at.  Sex, violence, sleaze, and a bad guy who looks like David Hess's son.  Oh yea, it stars James Spader, and Robert Downey Jr.
  Tuff Turf centers around Morgan Hiller, played by James Spader.  He comes from a rich family, who for one reason or another, are now poor.  See his dad lost his job, and they had to move to the hood.  They never said what his dad used to do, but now he's a cab driver.  Which brings me to wonder, could his dad not have gotten a cab driver job back where they lived before?  So Spader rides around the seedy parts of town at night on his 10 speed bike, guess his dad sold his car, when he stumbles across Little David Hess's gang robbing some old guy.  Morgan breaks it up and peddles off, so he can go home and get some sleep before his first day at a new school.  See where this is going yet?
Well when he peddles into his new school, who do we see also attends?  Yes David Hess Jr.'s gang.  Hess Jr. is actually Nick, the leader of a tough street gang that runs the school.  Not much of a gang.  he just has three other members, and his smoking hot 80's slut style girlfriend.  So Morgan meets Robert Downey Jr in class and the two become best friends.  Downey even invites Morgan to see his band play later that night.  As the two BFF's are leaving Nick and his gang spray paint Morgan, and smash his bike.  Morgan doesn't seem to care as he's busy staring at Nicks slut Frankie.  Bad choice in names.  I went to school with a girl named Frankie.  She was a fat bag of yeast.  Ugly as a CHUD.  But this chick is hot.
So later Morgan steals a car and drives off to see Downey's band play.  In a cool twist, all the music is from Jim Carrol Band.  Can you guess who shows up as well?  That's right Nicks gang.  They don't see Morgan at first, as hes busy dancing with Frankie.  80's dancing baby.  You know where everyone is dancing completely in sync.  Well they grab Morgan, beat him down, and steal his car.  Problem is, he stole the car in the first place, so Nick and his gang get pulled over and arrested for car theft.  This was just a dumb scene though, as nick and his boys already had a car.
Seeing as how Nick and his boys are sitting in jail, Morgan decides to start romancing Frankie.  He picks her up in Nicks car, see the guy never should have left it parked by that club, and takes her to a country club, then a jazz bar.  I have to say this was a huge slow down to the film.  It goes on for like 20minutes, and is just very boring.  But the action picks up when Nick and boys trap Morgan in the locker room at school, and beat the shit out of him.  Its actually a cool scene.  they take towels and load then up with locks, then just whip the shit out of him.
Later that night Nick proposes to Frankie, and as he looks like David Hess, she has no choice but to say yes.  So when Morgan finds out about this, he does what any man would do.  He asks her to have dinner with him at his parents house.  Yea, sounds dumb, but its going somewhere,  See Nick and his guys see her there, and when she leaves they ask he to help them rob some shmuck, like they were doing in the opening scene.  She says yes, until the shmuck in question is Morgan's dad.  She freaks out, so Nick and his guys attack.  Well, its not much of an attack.  Morgan's dad actually beats the shit out of all of them until Nick shoots him.   Whoich makes me wonder, if a 50 year old fat guy can beat the crap out of all of these guys, why was everyone afraid of them?
  She calls Morgan from the hospital to tell him what happened, and rather then stay by his dads bedside he takes her home to have sex with her.  80's sex.  You know where you hear the slow music as the girl gets naked, then you see a few random sex scene shots before it fades out and you have to uses your imagination.  Well Nick sees this, which proves he has no life and just sits outside Morgans house and watches him, and flips out.  He beats down Frankie's dad, and smacks the shit out of her as well.  Then he calls Morgan, and tells him to meet him at the warehouse in 20 minutes.  I wonder how Morgan knew what warehouse to go to.
  Anyway Morgan shows up, and the 80's fight ensues, with Morgan holding his own until Nicks gang grabs him.  Just as Nick is going to shoot him, Robert Downey Jr. shows up with two doberman pincher's and evens the odds.  So Nick, and Morgan have, what is actually a cool fight scene that features, swinging from a rope, a board with nails, an axe, a gun, and a fair amount of blood.  Not only does Morgan win, he actually kills Nick, then takes Frankie to the jazz club as the credits play.
  Great film.  Spader was actually a bad ass pretty boy.  Robert Downey is fantastic in everything. Kim Richards, as Frankie cant act, but who cares.  She was hot. And Paul Mones as Nick was effective, based on the fact he looked like David Hess's son.  The soundtrack is good, and I love that fact its not your typical 80's high school film.  Its pretty hardcore in spots.  Highly recommended.

Overall 3 out of 5 Stars

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